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#BlurredLines

So, I've been doing a little bit of soul searching.
I tend to go through a state of unhappiness about 6 times a year (that's about every other month, for you math wizards). 

This unhappiness I usually attribute to the feeling of being "trapped." I frequently say that I'm "trapped" here in Florida, that I am stuck here and I can't wait to get out.

But I had a revelation.
I'm not trapped here- I'm comfortable here. There is no real challenge. There is no real rejection. The only thing that I have to do here is just "be."
I have people around me to encourage and inspire me, and what do I do with that? I nod and say "You're right," or "Thank you," and I continue living my stagnant life.
Being trapped means that I have no means of escape. But I have an escape.
I've had an escape since the day I graduated high school some years ago. I could have moved to New York. I could have pursued my dreams of being a "big time" actress, but the truth I've had to face is that I was just scared. 

I'm afraid I'm going to go after my dreams and no one will want me because I look like a bootleg Keke Palmer.

             

          A very bootleg version.

I was afraid of rejection, afraid that I am not talented, smart or beautiful enough- and I'm still afraid.
But I'm tired of being stationary. I'm tired of living my life like a bump on a log. I long to make a difference somehow- whether it's in my life or someone else's.

Every time I renew a lease in this barren town, I'm signing into my comfort zone.

Now I say- I'm not even going to wait until next year to change this.

It's past due for me to get up and go and be.

How exactly do I plan on doing this? 

Simple: by putting one foot in front of the other. 

Being stagnant is an awful thing. It feels awful and it is awful. 

It's like...being a Zombie (A 'World War Z' type- zombie. They're particularly interesting. I just watched WWZ for a second time, I hope you like this analogy, if you don't...I'll live).

The Zombies moved slowly, not toward or away from anything, when they had no stimuli. It was when there was something to chase that they became excited and moved swiftly. It was when they had something to look to, to go after, that they fulfilled their purpose- braaaiiiinssss (or to turn other people into "Zombies").

If  there is nothing to look to, to provide stimulus, then we'll be stagnant.

I can't allow fear to breed a stagnant comfort zone. 

It's been time to move on to bigger and better things.

xoxo.

"Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself."

-Samuel Butler

I haven't written anything lengthy in such a long time.
I will soon!

But I just wanted to post these songs. 

John Legend is pretty much perfect.

"Again."

Norah Jones is pretty much perfect.

"Carnival Town."

xoxo.

My realization.

So often, the tortured and lonely soul is the most brilliant.

Those who occasionally sip slowly from the bowl of reality, 

those who ingest those painful, stinging sips,

tend to be more in touch with their inner selves.

This oneness with pain can either build a beautiful soul

or completely destroy it.  

xoxo.

"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly." 

-Morticia Addams

10 Reasons why I love Europe. A picture journal.

(As told by the not-always-so-high quality pictures that I took on my phone--- click to enlarge).

1. The Eiffel Tower

 Failed jumping picture.

2. The views

 Rome (from the hotel)

 Rome (from the hotel)

 Paris (duh)

 From Montmartre (France)

Ruins in Rome

3. Macarons. MA-CA-RONS. (aka: crack)

4. (Because of that last picture) Wine...Cheap delicious Wine.

5. Italian lasagna and pizza. 

6. The art and architecture. 

 At The Louvre (Paris)

 Statue of Nike; The Louvre (Paris)

Paris

Musée de l'Armée (Paris)

 Inside the Louvre (Paris)

 Montmartre, Sacré-Coeur (France)

 Palazzo delle Esposizioni (Italy)

 Vittorio Emanuele II monument (Italy)

 Chiesa di Sant'Agnese (Piazza Navona- Italy)

 Fontana di Piazza Navona (Italy)

 Fontana di Piazza Navona (Italy)

 The Pantheon (Italy)

 Outside of the Colosseum (Italy)

 Inside of the Colosseum (Italy)

 Fontana di Trevi (Italy)

 I had to throw in this one of this street artist sketching me. (Paris)

7. Cobble-stone streets

8. Disneyland Paris

9. Parisian Breakfast

Small, but so delicious your face will want to melt off.

10. This:

xoxo.

I love this person's blog entry.

How I know my wife married the wrong person. <---clickety.