Rape.

 So, yeah, I'm a woman (obviously).
And I'm also quite sensitive to the topic of rape. I am fully aware that rape can and does happen to men, but, according to RAINN 1 out of 10 victims are men (which does not in ANY WAY invalidate the devastating fact that men are also raped), so, it's more likely that women will be raped.

 We have this crazy rape culture that is so subliminal--- it almost goes unnoticed (some people say that there is no such thing as a "rape culture" in the U.S...and maybe in comparison to some countries our rape culture seems insignificant, but GET OUT if you think it doesn't exist, because, clearly, you are not paying attention)(wow, that was a long parenthetical statement).

 People joke about rape all the time. The lines of consent are considered blurred (and the idea of blurred lines of consent are entertaining enough to be considered the song of the summer!). Women are objectified and even if we say we don't want sex, we actually want it, right? I mean, what do we know? If we wear a revealing dress...I mean, obviously- sex is wanted. 

 While I do completely get that wearing revealing clothing can attract the wrong kind of attention (and maybe you just want to think about that, but...I'm not judging), revealing clothes DO NOT SIGNIFY someone "asking for it." 

 The whole "asking for it" thing is so ridiculous, it's almost hilarious- except for the fact that it's not hilarious at all.

 I just don't think that people understand how terrifying it is to be in a situation where you have absolutely zero control. When you're raped (if you're conscious), you are being forced (likely, painfully) to do the most intimate thing with your body...and you can definitely fight, but sometimes you just don't have the capability to overcome your attacker. 

It's just as scary if you're unconscious, because you can't remember anything to report... but you know that something has happened. I have a friend who was unconscious and she woke up knowing that someone had slept with her, but she didn't know who (I can't recall if she was heavily intoxicated or if she was drugged- though I do know someone who was certainly drugged). These women, knowing that someone slept with them while they were unconscious is something that has stayed with them; they have reported having vague memories of what happened and going through bouts of depression and nausea...because they can't recall anything- but they know something intimate happened without their consent.

I just don't think that people (men mostly, tbh) understand the fear and threat of rape. It is a genuine fear of a lot of women, especially if you have been raped or almost raped in the past. Personally, when I walk anywhere at night, I'm on high alert. When I'm anywhere where drinks are involved, I am on high alert. I will decline a drink if I didn't see it being made. But, that doesn't mean that it can't happen to me. It can happen to anyone. 

93% of juvenile victims know their attacker. NINETY THREE. NINETY THREE PERCENT. Do you know how terrifying that is? Only 7% were strangers. Seven. Percent.

What is even more sad is that only an estimated 60% of victims report rape. According to The Bureau of Justice Statistics, in 2005-10, 78% of sexual violence involved an offender who was a family member, intimate partner, friend, or acquaintance. According to Statistic Brain, it is estimated that 95% of college rapes go UNREPORTED.

That freaks me out so much, you don't even know.

It is obvious to me that the way that we, as a society, view women is quite skewed. Something is wrong.
Of course one of the more obvious problems to me is the objectification of women. Women are seen in so many ways as products. We are used to promote products for men in quite a sexual way, example:

Oh, yes, use Axe and women will certainly go crazy...

There are so many examples that are worse than this, but for the sake of me not wanting to gauge my eyes out, I'm going to use this one (there is nothing wrong with sexuality if it's appropriate and if it doesn't demean a person's gender).
The problem with objectifying women is that women are seen as less human (thanks to Policy Mic for some of these sources). We become objects, subject to much more criticism and inhumane treatment. 

It's easy to see women as objects of pleasure if that's how we are constantly represented in the media. Men are given this "I'm doing this and then women will give me sex" sort of mentality.
It still doesn't mean that this kind of thinking is okay or even slightly understandable:

HOW IS THIS OKAY? 

DO THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE MOTHERS OR SISTERS?

(I understand that some guys are "trolls" but this isn't even relatively funny, especially because people really think this way)

I mean, of course these guys are absolute idiots, but still. It's as if consent doesn't matter. A woman can't back out of sex? A woman can't wear something revealing? Oh, it's MY FAULT that you raped me, okay, sorry. 

WHAT.

Of course, things need to be changed. Women need to be represented as we are: human beings, NOT objects. And not solely instruments of pleasure.

Intelligent, beautiful, feeling beings with every right to back out of any situation. 

You should never say, "I understand why she was raped." That thought shouldn't even cross your mind, because it's ridiculous.

Not only is it sad that people think like that, it's sad that clearly the judicial system thinks like that as well:

Via: RAINN. This is depressing.

How.

How is this okay? Why does it seem like rape is basically decriminalized?
That's why women don't even bother reporting it...because...there is a 3% chance that their attackers will see a day in prison.

There is a lot that needs to be changed. A lot more people, men and women alike, need to speak out about the problem of women being overly objectified in the media. We need to speak out against attackers more often. We need to make sure that these attackers see their day in prison and don't just get slapped on the wrist. We are due for a major overhaul.

Something needs to change. 

If enough people get upset enough, if enough people lend their voice to the cause, I believe we will see change.

Don't just sweep this under the rug. Being raped isn't just something that happens to you one night and goes away. 17.7 million women have been the victims of rape or attempted rape. One third of rape victims have suffered from PTSD, they are three times more likely to have a major depressive episode, 33% of rape victims have seriously thought about committing suicide and they are 13 times more likely to have attempted suicide.

This is real life for so many people and it's an issue that should not be ignored (or joked about; so stop joking about it you idiots).

And we need to stop this "idea" that it's a woman's fault and teach these men to stop being aggressive and dominating and to STOP assuming that a woman in a certain situation owes you sex. 

SHE OWES YOU NOTHING.

AND YOU'RE BARELY A HUMAN BEING IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT FROM HER.
RAPE IS NOT "HER FAULT." IT IS NEVER THE VICTIM'S FAULT.

Sources linked throughout.

Here's another good read from Feministing.

xoxo