I've been thinking about this a lot; especially because I feel like everyone I've ever spent any amount of time with has influenced who I am (in small or large ways). But I also think that I've had some very interesting friendships/relationships/interactions with guys and I kind of want to document a couple of them. If you think that you may be one of these guys I'm documenting, you could be right! Or you could be very wrong and just incredibly self-conscious and if you are then you need to get over that because being self-conscious is only going to mess with your head (and all of these entries are about more than one guy).
(Also *VERY IMPORTANT,* to illustrate my points, I'm going to use Beyoncé gifs.)
1. The really attractive friend or boyfriend that makes you feel incredibly insecure.
This is almost the worst one (except there is one that is DEFINITELY worse), but this one will be runner-up to the worst. When you're dating/friends with a guy who constantly points out what is wrong with you (or with girls around you), you start to feel like you always have to be "on." What I mean by that is- he invites you over to watch a movie and eat junk food with his roommates and you show up looking like:
Oh, what? Makeup? A gold staff? Oh, I always look like this.
You don't want to be "one of those girls" he always talks about. You know, the ones that don't put on makeup all the time and the ones who have chipped nails or blemished legs. I mean, imperfection? EEEEEEEW.
But seriously, I've spent a significant amount of time with guys like this. You don't even realize how them being so incredibly critical makes you more and more insecure each day (You also fail to realize that they're kind of douchebags, but hindsight is 20/20). Every time I would spend time with one of them, I would constantly be wondering about everything.
"Do my knees look weird in these shorts?"
"Do I have a lazy eye and not know?"
"Do I have a roll around my stomach when I sit?"
And (God forbid) he looks at you for too long (even if it's meant to be "flattering"), then it's, "WHAT ON EARTH IS ON MY FACE?"
A relationship with this sort of person can just make you really insecure and, let's be honest, who wants to be around someone who is that critical of you and everyone else?
NOT ME.
2. The "Best Friend."
It's your best friend and the most complicated friendship you will ever have in your entire life! In all honesty, having a platonic opposite-sex friendship between two heterosexual people can be a little bit difficult. Especially when you pass into the "best friend who knows almost everything about you" territory. You're completely yourself around him:
You eat junk food in front of him.
You show up to hang out au naturel.
You cry and do other embarrassing girly stuff (that you secretly hate yourself for) around him.
And he is not phased by any of it. Usually one of three things happen: he begins to like you, you begin to like him or you both begin to like each other (now, it's totally possible that you guys push through the odd "what if?" feelings and continue to just be friends...but this doesn't usually seem to happen to me).
Sometimes, it's a sudden thing and out of the blue you're just like:
Come to me! We'll make this werk!
The hard thing, though, is when...it doesn't werk. Or you're afraid to make it werk (okay, I'll stop saying "werk"). Then you have this...friendship? that gets incredibly awkward or you drift apart (or, if you've been in my situation, you date one of your best friends and then when the relationship doesn't work out you NEVER TALK AGAIN). Or you guys both pretend to not have feelings for each other and nothing ever happens but you sit at home (jk, I'm at work) typing a blog entry wondering "what if...?" And "what if?" has to be the most annoying question on the planet. However, at the end of the day what you do know is that this best friend guy makes you so comfortable around him that if you were to date someone in the future, they've given you a template of what kind of guy you'd want to be with (or- if the feelings are obviously mutual- you can really just go out on a limb and try to make it werk. Okay, I'm really finished saying "werk," I promise).
3. "That guy."
There is always going to be "that guy." This could mean several things. It could be that guy who really likes you and you just...no. It's just not a good idea. He's obviously keeping bodies in his basement. But sometimes "that guy" is the guy you KNOW you shouldn't like (because your mom would kill you is reason #1 on my list), but whatever, you kind of like him anyway because he's really cute and he quotes lines of poetry. LET US BE REAL: 9 times out of 10, this guy actually ends up being a bad idea.
But you're like "Whatever mom, I'm grown! I can date whoever I want!"
My mom is pretty much always right (don't tell her this, though. She already knows it and I need to keep some dignity as a twenty-something year old). Sometimes I just think "LET ME DO THIS" and then I end up getting myself hurt by a guy who actually doesn't care about me. "That guy" could be the guy who woooooos you and you're all "Oh, dis is so nice!" But then you find out something like...he has a girlfriend (this is the worst one that I was talking about). Or...he's actually not really into you at all. Or you go on this emotional rollercoaster- he pays you a lot of attention and then all of a sudden stops calling...and then calls you out of the blue because he misses you...and then he disappears...and then he takes you to dinner...and then he starts dating someone else (and you secretly want to cut off his little toe because you're so upset, but then you forgive him because he calls you telling you that he misses you. WHAT). People call me picky because I'm so very rigorous when it comes to picking a boyfriend. I'll go several months/years at a time as single as a moose (wait, I think moose might travel in packs. I don't know a lot about moose...meese? Whatever). I just want to know that I'm not going to be going in circles chasing my own tail like a dog (I do know a bit about dogs). So, "that guy" has taught me that I don't need a man, and I can and should be as picky as I want to be to protect my own heart.
*Snaps in Z-formation*
There are several other types of guys, but since my time at work is up, I'm going to leave it at 3 types for now. But if I expand on this, I will continue to use Bey-Bey gifs, because she is pretty much perfect.
Look at this lady. Seriously.
xoxo.
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